macaboney | Inbox for forestcovered

[He sees Serif approaching, but he doesn't really see. The world is spinning and blurry with his tears, and he doesn't really know what in the world is happening to him. He feels like he might float away or something, and it takes Serif's arms around him to cause him to feel even slightly grounded.

He clings back tightly to his brother, hands shaking, and for a long while, he just cries, because he feels so bad for what happened and so confused about what really happened and so upset Serif had to go through all of that...]

I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, I just... I didn't... She... I couldn't feel anything and I...

[He'd almost started to become numb to everything, but that's undone in a second when his brother starts crying. Even after everything that happened, nothing hurts quite like seeing his brother in pain.]

Hey, c'mon. It's okay. Not your fault, bro.

[Serif keeps holding him tightly, pushing his own hurt away to keep his voice steady. It's hard giving good hugs when you're half the size of the other person, but he's putting all his love in it anyway.]

No... no, I should have listened to you. I thought there was another way besides fighting and I should have listened to you... if I had just listened, they wouldn't have...

[They wouldn't have taken advantage of Serif's lack of concentration, and Tempus wouldn't have taken that hit. He clings to his brother in an attempt to keep himself grounded, and slowly, his breathing starts to settle back into a somewhat normal rhythm.]

Nah, bro. Don't be sorry for trying to end things peacefully. You couldn't have known.

[No one outside a handful of people could've known.]

I should've been faster. Hell, I... I saw them way before that, but I let them get away, I just let them--

...Anyway. It... was that thing's fault.

[Just that thing. Not Tempus' fault. Not the kid's fault either. Definitely partially his own fault, since he should've known better. But it's that curse that takes most of the blame.]

They were, uh... really... determined. Took me... Took me a while to get rid of 'em.

Then you didn't know either... You let them get away because you were scared. Anyone would be... I mean, Grit is just a child.

[...Just a child. He keeps getting the inkling that he's wrong when he thinks that, but he doesn't know if he wants to find out what the truth really is.

He hugs Serif a bit tighter, knowing that no matter what Serif says, he feels like it was his fault.]

...But you took care of them, right? You didn't get hurt?

...

[Serif knows they're not just a child, of course. They should be. But they aren't. And he knows that very well. So he should've known better.]

Still shouldn't have let them. Almost broke my promise to the kid...

[As soon as he ran into the shadow, he should've ended things. That's what he's been thinking for the past several days now.]

Nah, I got through it okay. They gave me quite a workout, but... I made sure they didn't hurt anyone anymore.

They mentioned that, didn't they? You promised to kill them? What... were they saying exactly?

[There must have been a reason why his sibling would agree to do something so horrible. He would never do that if there was any other way to solve the problem.

He's looking over Serif as he answers, but the response only confirms what Tempus sees: his brother doesn't have a scratch on him.]

Thank goodness... I don't know why they wanted to hurt everyone but... it's good you stopped it.

Yeah... Apparently I'm good at stopping them.

[He's the one that got them to quit in that other timeline, after all. That's what they told him, anyway. Not like he really remembers it. Not clearly, anyway.

As for the other part... Well.

Yeah. There's that, isn't there?

Not so long ago he would've denied even knowing anything about that. But now... Hey. He said he'd start being more honest, right?]

A few weeks ago, the kid, uh... They were upset about, I dunno, something. And they asked... [He sighs.] The kid asked me to promise them that if they killed anyone... I'd kill them.

...

I said I would.

...You say that like you've stopped them more than once.

[But Grit has never needed to be stopped. Or... that's what he's assumed. But apparently, he's died at their hand more than a few times, just with no memories of it.

Not like the ones Serif apparently has. He definitely needs those memories to be shared. Even if they haven't technically happened, Serif still lived through them, and he needs support.]

I understand... It must have been hard to promise that. I don't think I'd have the courage to say yes.

[He'd never hurt Grit... not even if they asked him too. He just can't bring himself to do that to someone he cares about.]

...That's 'cause I have.

I don't, uh... remember doing it, but... [He pauses there. Doesn't he? Maybe not technically. Not in the way memories should work, maybe.] ...Nah. Nah, that's not entirely true. I don't remember it clearly, maybe, but I... sometimes... I dream about it.

It's a little, uh... complicated?

[So he isn't entirely sure what the best way to explain it is. But he does need to explain it. Just... slowly. Step by step.]

It didn't really feel very courageous. Dunno if promising that was the right call or not. But I guess I never really thought I had much of an option.

...Think the kid knew that. They wouldn't have asked if they thought there was a chance I'd say no. [It's weird, thinking that's something he could be counted on to do. It probably doesn't say anything good about him.] You, uh... remember that one night, right? A little while ago?

[He doesn't need to specify. They both know which night. The night he'd been a total wreck. The night Tempus had finally gotten frustrated with him. They night neither of them had been very happy about anything.]

...That was why I couldn't sleep. Guess, uh, heh... that promise kinda got to me. Just a little.

...So you dream about things that have... sort of happened, then? In those other timelines you were talking about? Why does that happen to you and not anyone else?

[He's almost certain he's never had a dream about another reality. But... who knows, maybe he has. Maybe those dreams about becoming a Royal Guard are true, in another reality. It's all very complicated and confusing... he can't imagine what it's like for Serif.]

I can't tell you if promising was what you should have done... but I understand it was hard. And I understand why you wouldn't have wanted to tell me.

[Tempus had already been angry and hurt hearing Sans admit he needed to kill Grit. How would he have reacted if he had heard it in the middle of the night, both of their emotions laid bare and both of them on edge?]

...I'm sorry.

Heh... Hell if I know. Maybe it's 'cause I already know about the timelines?

[He can't say for sure. Hell, maybe they're not even really memories. Maybe his imagination is just trying to fill in the gaps. Who knows.

...He still hasn't actually bothered to really explain those, has he? With everything that's been happening, it just kinda... slipped his mind.]

Guess I should, uh... probably tell you 'bout those in more detail though, huh?

[He hasn't had to explain them to anyone yet. Hell, he didn't think he'd ever have to. But here he is now.]

...

I'm sorry too.

Right... it might be best to just start from the beginning. There's not a lot that makes sense right now...

[Surely it'll make more sense if he can get the entire story, and fit the pieces he has into the story's thread. Like one big long puzzle.

He just nods at Serif's apology. They both were a bit stupid. He knows that even if Tempus did overreact, this could have been avoided if Serif had been more open.]

S'kind of a long story, so... bear with me here.

[How to lay all of this out. Start at the beginning... Right, okay, what exactly qualifies as the beginning? Well. He's got some idea for that.]

You remember when I, uh, used to be busy with a whole lot of science stuff? [Tempus should remember that part fine. Just not... who he used to work with. Even if it seemed like such a long time since he worked on all that...] One of the things w- I got involved with had to do with time. It was just one part of all the research, y'know, trying to figure out more about what makes it tick. Heh.

'Cept uh... the reports that came outta that were kinda... weird?

[He pauses for a second, trying to figure out the best way to put this simply.]

Time's got a certain way it's supposed to move. Y'know, linearly. I mean, some weird things are bound to pop up, I dunno, still a lot that's kind of a mystery, but... This wasn't like that.

Timelines were just... jumping around all over the place. Looping back around, branching off everywhere, always repeating, all kinda things that shouldn't happen. Until suddenly everything just... stops.

[Serif remembers when he first got those results. Back then, it was terrifying. Now it just sort of... was. It's amazing, the things you get used to.]

[A long story. He was kind of expecting that. Tempus keeps silent and lets Serif find a place to start. Where he does begin isn't really unexpected.

He definitely remembers the time Serif worked at the lab. A lot of it is fuzzy, but the smile on Serif's face when he came back home discussing their findings... that is as vivid as if it happened yesterday.

The mention of time, though... that's when Tempus starts to realize just what is going on. Something out there was messing with time itself, and only Serif had the research to prove it. But... how would Serif remember all the research?]

Wouldn't your research have been erased if things started looping back again? How do you remember all of this?

Far as I know, time didn't start looping until a little later on. Heh, guess it's possible I just got the same results over and over, but... never felt any kinda deja vu from it.

Time doesn't restart completely anyway. It doesn't go back to, I dunno, the beginning of the universe or something. There's certain points it kept looping back to. Cause... time wasn't just resetting by itself. It was all caused by some kinda anomaly. Time was being deliberately looped by something.

[...]

Or rather... someone.

So before that, everything was fine. It just keeps... starting over from... where exactly? What parts keep repeating for you?

[The mention of someone makes him stiffen slightly, before he relaxes, speaks with a grudging acceptance.]

You're talking about Grit, aren't you? They were the ones resetting everything?

Yeah... It's Grit.

Far as I can tell, the main point everything keeps resetting back to is sometime right after they fell into the Underground. So they've repeated their, uh, journey through the Underground a few times by now...

[Not that he has any idea how many times. Too many for him to make an educated guess.]

...They're not the only one, though. I know there's at least one other time traveler, but... hell if I know who they are. Or where exactly they fit into all this.

And why are they repeating it? Do you... know why they want to keep going through it all again? After we all were free... that should have been it.

[He has a bad feeling it has to do with how Serif's double mentioned how many time Tempus died... The mention of the other time traveler makes Tempus frown, but he can't think of anyone else around who could have done anything.]

How do you know there's another one?

I don't know all their reasons. All of us getting out is the most recent timeline for them, but... I dunno if we got out of the Underground multiple times. Hell, maybe this was the first time they managed it. All I know is that...

[He stops and sighs for a second, because talking about this is hard. Even if it's not what happened this timeline, even if technically it didn't happen to him, it's really, really hard.]

That... there's been at least one timeline where... a whole lot of monsters ended up dead. And I mean... a lot. [He doesn't name anyone. But he probably doesn't need to. The way he looks away from Tempus for a moment basically gives away at least one person in that list, anyway.] ...I dunno how things would've ended up if they hadn't given up. Only reason they reset everything is 'cause apparently they, uh... couldn't manage to kill me. Heh.

...'S that timeline I've been getting the most dreams of.

[He supposes it's good he managed to make them quit, but mainly he just hates the whole situation.]

I know there's another time traveler because they pretty much came out and told me. That, uh, jerk that was writing to me that one night? That's the one. I dunno their name, but they've definitely been messing around with timelines. Say they're an old friend, because I guess they think they're funny.

[He's got sympathy for Grit. Not so much for his pen pal.]

...I see.

[He really doesn't. It's too much for him to comprehend. He doesn't know what has and hasn't happened, and how many times it's happened before. He doesn't remember dying before he came here, but... from the way Serif is talking, and the way he refuses to look at Tempus, proves it has happened. He doesn't know how Serif became stronger than a human, but they did... and...]

...Do you know why they did it? Why they wanted to kill everyone? That... doesn't sound like something Grit would do.

[He frowns at the mention of the person who had been bullying his sibling.]

That's terrible. I can't believe there's someone else with that power... I just wish I knew who it was.

[If he knew they'd be getting the sternest talking to. He doesn't believe in hurting anyone, but he can't stand by while Serif suffers either.]

...Sorry. S'kind of a lot, right? Can't keep it all straight myself sometimes.

[He's still not sure if not remembering all the timelines is bad or good. Probably good. He's not sure how he would've ended up if he could clearly remember every single time Tempus died. Or if maybe... that's something he would've gotten used to over time.

...The second option scares him way more than anything else.]

...I dunno. Not sure wanting to factored into it all that much. More like... feeling they had to, maybe? Still haven't really asked them much about their reasons...

[He knows what Buttercup told him. He knows what the shadow told him. But it's... not something he's been eager to talk about with Grit themself.]

Yeah, same here. I'd love to have a chat with them face to face. [Serif's voice sounds maybe a little too cold at that, but he can't really hide how he feels about this right now. Too much effort.] Heh... They've got a real problem with me, whoever they are.

It is a lot. I don't know how you'd be able to keep it straight.

[How would he handle it? If he could remember bits and pieces of an uncountable number of timelines, a large amount of them involving the death of the most important person in his life?

...He doesn't want to think about it. He wants to tell himself he wouldn't lose hope... but he's just not going to think about it.]

I... I see. They must have had a reason. I just can't imagine what it would be.

[He notes that coldness, but his own voice is slightly stern. He's angry about this too.]

They shouldn't have a problem with you. And even if they do, sending you cruel messages is just... cowardly.

Sometimes... Sometimes I really can't anymore. Heh... every now and then I wake up and it takes me a while to sort out what's real again. It gets... confusing.

[Remembering what actually happened and what didn't is something that shouldn't be so hard, when he clearly remembers one timeline and only has scattered fragments of all the others, but it happens anyway.

It's never a fun experience.]

Yeah, they're... they're not the type to do something like that for the hell of it. I could start thinking up reasons, but... Think this is something I shouldn't go making assumptions about.

[Maybe after everything's calmed down, he'll ask them about it. Maybe.]

S'a lot of history there. Just, uh, wish I could remember it.

...Can't say all their points were wrong, though.

...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, and that you had to sort out so much on your own. I know there would have been no way of me knowing, but... still. I wish I did know.

[As horrible as it would be to remember dying, wouldn't it be easier if the two of them could help each other cope with remembering?]

Serif... please don't say that. What in the world could someone so thoughtless say that was true?

[He wants to know, just so he can prove it wrong. His brother should never have to take those messages to heart.]

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